Sentimental Drivel

I promised I would post today, didn't I? It is now 11:43, so I thought I should go ahead and do it.

Today was a good day. I slept late, but not too late, and then Lauren, Suzanne, Charity, Lana and I all went to Panera for lunch. It was a nice day for memories. Good conversation, good food, and good people. Sorry, I guess I'm just feeling sappy because Lauren's moving out on Saturday, and I won't see her until January.

This has been a good year. I am most definitely not the person I was when I arrived, and I think it's for the better. Wow, I'm just thinking about the great friends I have. I won't see Lana or Suzanne for a whole year! I'll be in Philadelphia in the fall, Suzanne will be in Germany in the spring, and Lana will be in Thailand in the spring.

It is not good that I am depressing myself. I still have to write a chunk of my Women and Gender paper tonight. Plus my Bible final is tomorrow. Cheer up, Coon!

I recognize that my writing is very stream-of-consciousness, and I'm probably not explaining how I feel about my friends and the end of the year properly. I guess I just feel pulled between two homes. I live with my friends, so of course I love them, and I don't want to say goodbye to them. I love my family and I miss them, and I definitely do not want to stay on campus a minute longer than I have to! I am ready to go home, but it also means the end of my life here.

I've spent 9 months away from my parents and away from everything that formed into the person that I am. And now I'm going back to my old life. We've talked a lot about our fears of being pressured to fit into the mold that we left in the fall. We've all changed, some more drastically than others, but we know that a lot of people at home won't be expecting that. I'm not worried about my parents. Just from recent conversations with my mom, I can tell that things will be easier with her than they have been. Not that it's all depending on how she reacts. I've changed for the better I think, and I can express myself better, so I don't think we'll get into quite as many arguments.

Ok, Internet, I'm going to tell you something. Don't laugh. I've had this question bouncing around in my head for a long time, and I need to ask someone, even if that someone is non-responsive. Here it is.

When can I call myself a woman?

Seriously! I'm still a teenager, but I am definitely growing up, and I feel like I'm closer to my adult self than my adolescent (that word doesn't really describe what I mean, but oh well) self. When does that transition take place? I think I will be freaked out the first time one of my parents says that. My RA referred to the floor as a 'group of women' the other day. It's not as weird when she says it, but it still gave me pause.

(Note: If you haven't turned on sappy, sentimental music by now, shame on you.)

I'm so ready for life to start for me, and I can feel it slowly gaining momentum. I just feel like how I make the transition from college to home is key for some reason.

Hah, ok, I just ran off for an hour and laughed myself silly with Lauren and Lana. There's this tradition at Messiah during finals week. It is 24 hour quiet hours, which means no normal college craziness. Except at midnight we all open our windows and scream. Tonight someone played Taps on their trumpet. Lana and I yelled, but Lauren didn't so we were ragging on her for being a loser. And we were just generally stupid for an hour. Broke quiet hours several times.

This has been a very good day. And now I must go do work.

Good night!