Lately I've been worrying a lot about what happens if I don't get things right. (<--ambiguous confession.) You know? There are so many decisions to make in quick succession. So far in life it's been 1. Make it through elementary. 2. Survive middle school. 3. Repeat for high school. The goal was pretty general for a long time, but now I have to actually choose between goals. Life has some nerve expecting me to know (in advance!) what career I want, where I want to live and who I want to spend my life with*! Plus I have to finance it all (with significant help from parents)!
So anyways, a general gloom has pervaded my thoughts in recent weeks, particularly since I keep hearing about childhood friends who are now engaged, have high-paying summer jobs or both! Way to encourage me to achieve, universe.
But see, there's the rub. My world isn't just a huge universe full of inconceivable (!) coincidence or unalterable destiny. Even though I can get really ridiculously depressed about mistakes I will continue to make, eventually I am reminded that I'm not alone in this (<-- cheesy, very obvious observation).
This past year has been overflowing with emotion, and I guess once I got away from it all, reality punched me in the face (<-- horrible metaphor??). Now I can say I know that God has great things in the future, even if they're the antipodes** of what I want to happen. And there are A TON of things I'm looking forward to happening soon. An apartment with four awesome girls! A semester when I'm looking forward to all of my classes! Another semester in England! I've got a lot to be thankful for, but sometimes I worry that I will mess it all up by making poor choices or getting hung up on one thing or another.
So, there you have my month full of thoughts. I know I'm not alone in fearing mistakes, so do yourself a favor, Internet, and give yourself a break :)
Also, please check out Starkidpotter's videos. Not only does A Very Potter Musical feed my inner theatre geek and HP nerd at the same time, but Little White Lie is also absolutely fantastic, and I've been listening to the soundtrack for two weeks. Enjoy!
So anyways, a general gloom has pervaded my thoughts in recent weeks, particularly since I keep hearing about childhood friends who are now engaged, have high-paying summer jobs or both! Way to encourage me to achieve, universe.
But see, there's the rub. My world isn't just a huge universe full of inconceivable (!) coincidence or unalterable destiny. Even though I can get really ridiculously depressed about mistakes I will continue to make, eventually I am reminded that I'm not alone in this (<-- cheesy, very obvious observation).
This past year has been overflowing with emotion, and I guess once I got away from it all, reality punched me in the face (<-- horrible metaphor??). Now I can say I know that God has great things in the future, even if they're the antipodes** of what I want to happen. And there are A TON of things I'm looking forward to happening soon. An apartment with four awesome girls! A semester when I'm looking forward to all of my classes! Another semester in England! I've got a lot to be thankful for, but sometimes I worry that I will mess it all up by making poor choices or getting hung up on one thing or another.
So, there you have my month full of thoughts. I know I'm not alone in fearing mistakes, so do yourself a favor, Internet, and give yourself a break :)
Also, please check out Starkidpotter's videos. Not only does A Very Potter Musical feed my inner theatre geek and HP nerd at the same time, but Little White Lie is also absolutely fantastic, and I've been listening to the soundtrack for two weeks. Enjoy!
*with whom I want to spend my life
**you guys have no clue how freakin' happy I am to use that word in a sentence
**you guys have no clue how freakin' happy I am to use that word in a sentence
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