So was I supposed to post yesterday?? Hah, oops. I suppose I'm not very good at keeping my word. Apologies.

Work is going very well. I've never worked so much before, and it's very exhausting. Life at home consists of food, books and sleep. I miss working at night, but it's really nice to get home and have stuff to do besides sleep. My day off on Wednesday brought a ridiculous amount of fiendish glee with the knowledge that I could sleep past 7 AM. Also that I wouldn't have to deal with any obnoxious people.

We're watching A New Hope right now, and Luke is looking dramatically into the red sunset. His hair is slightly too long in this movie for my taste, but then it gets way too short in the next one.

I've read a few more chapters of Emma. I think I've decided that it's the character Emma that I don't like, and not the book in general. She's manipulative and vain, and intent on fixing everyone's lives to suit her, which guarantees that it will not suit them.

Yay for Obi-Wan! I guess he's Ben now. This is the first movie I saw Alec Guinness in, and even though I didn't know he was such a great actor, his experience sort of translated onto the screen. It's possible that Ben/Obi-Wan is my favorite character. I love that we see the young and old character.

Ok, my computer has to install an update, so I must say goodbye. I will set a date for my next post, or otherwise I will take much longer than I ought. Until Friday!

I hope you can forgive me, Internet, for going back on my word yesterday. I don't really have an explanation for it, except I just didn't feel like it. Also I was readjusting to church at night, which does not happen at school.

Anyways, when I promised you literary thoughts, I was thinking I would have made some headway with Emma but I haven't really. I've read several chapters, but not enough to make a judgment. I have every intention of finishing it, purely because it's Jane Austen, even if it doesn't become my new favorite (which is the standard I have for every book, I'm always disappointed if it doesn't).

But I was watching Carousel today, and I do have some story-focused thoughts for you. Why is it that old movies are considered classics? The acting style is generally horrible, at least by today's standards, but they are still classics. Why? Is it the story? Were the plots just so incredible that they shone through mediocre, falling-apart-with-age everything else? In some cases, I think so. One of my favorite stories ever is from The Shop Around the Corner, the Jimmy Stewart movie that You've Got Mail is based on. I absolutely love that movie, but for purely romantic reasons. Many of the older movies that survive today revolve around love, because it is the universal language. I was sort of thinking this post through in my head and I realized just how many cliches I was in danger of using, but it's certainly true. There are different reasons films survive time, but I suppose the main reason is that people still relate to them. I guess my conclusion was rather more simple than I thought it would be. I am a tad bit underwhelmed.

But still, movies like South Pacific or Gone With the Wind have such ridiculous plots and characters. How can we still relate to them?

So that's my intellectual pondering. Tomorrow it is back to serving chicken and being nice to obnoxious people who don't deserve it at Chick-Fil-A. I have Wednesday off though! Maybe I will describe some work experiences. Maybe not.

Ten days of lazy busyness

I would just like you to know that I have been planning this entry for about four days, and I certainly did not intend that it should be ten days until my next post. So don't be angry. In fact, you should be very grateful. I worked at CFA from 8 to 4 today, and right now I am laying on my back, with my head propped up and my feet and knees throbbing. It's a little odd typing with my laptop on my stomach, but that's how much you mean to me, Internet.

It was a good day at work today, despite the throbbing. I made friends with the breakfast shift, and the owner (!) of the store told me I was doing a good job during the lunch rush. I'm working again tomorrow from 8 to 1 (do I get a break? that is...5 hours, so yes) because they needed help for breakfast. It'll be good to work again - meaning it'll be good to have money again.

In other news, I am to be a Resident Advisor come fall! Very official sounding? No, I know it's no big deal, but I'm glad I got the job. Hopefully it won't be too time consuming so I can get another work study. Although I do want to enjoy myself in Philadelphia.

In other OTHER news, my padre is returning from the Middle East after a five month deployment. Huzzah! Of course I am super excited. His flight is landing some time tonight, the time is varying, and we have to go pick him up in Norfolk.My mom has been saying that after he gets back, her response to every question will be "Go ask your father." I really don't think she's joking on that one.

Ok, I am going to say goodbye, because I have to shower at some point before we leave for the airport. I'm also hungry. I will post on Sunday. Maybe I will have some literary thoughts for you!

Until then!

An Official Update

Hello, Internet!

I know that I have neglected you the past few days, and I sincerely apologize. I had to pack, study, take all my finals, drive home, and then unpack it all again! It's been extremely busy.

So anyways, I am home, and I am enjoying it so far. I have been very productive (cleaning my room, unpacking, etc.), but there's a thought in the back of my mind that says I can't be this good forever. It's very possible that this necessity to be busy is from being in a new place. I'm sure it will die off eventually, and I will go back to being my wonderful, procrastinating self.

We went to Chick-Fil-A for an early dinner tonight, and I talked to my old manager, Robert. Rachel and I will be working together this summer! I'll probably start work in a week or so. I want to start as early as I can so I don't get lazy and then have to...get unlazy all over again. I really need to work a lot because I'm planning on going to Florida to visit Jackie and I think I will end up having to pay for it all (meaning my parents won't be contributing). That's fine though, because it will only end up being one or two paychecks out of I don't know how many, and that's the only big thing I have this summer.

I just checked online to see if my grades were posted. It is one of the many times I will do that, to be sure. I think the deadline for professors is next week, and I'm sure they will take as long as possible, with the evil intentions of keeping all the students in suspense.

I'm wondering what church tonight will be like. I think all my class is home, at least the ones who go to DBC, and it'll be interesting to see how things are. This is something we talked a lot about at school. How we're all completely different people than we were in the fall, and how people at home might not understand that, and how we had to be careful not to give in to pressure to fall into old habits. Not that those habits were necessarily bad (although some of mine were), it's just that that's not who I am now, and I don't particularly want to go back. You know what I mean. When you haven't been around someone in a long time, it's very natural to behave the way you always did around them. I know this will sound terribly arrogant and snobbish and pompous, but I can't help it. I've figured out who I am at school, but I haven't figured out how that translates to home yet. Urgh, this is frustrating. Please tell me you understand!

Ok, well, I haven't quite figured out (once again) what I'm going to talk about here during the summer, because, as you may or may not know, Internet, I have no life! I don't want to bore you with a whole lot of nothing (Quote, anyone?).

So, I will next post...Friday night. I am driving my grandma down to North Carolina that day, and tomorrow I have an interview for a job in Philadelphia in the fall, so I will have plenty to talk about. And! I have been remiss in keeping you updated on the latest encouragement of the nerd/dork part of my personality. Prince Caspian premieres on Friday!! Sadly, I will not be at the midnight premiere, but I plan to see it as soon as I can find someone to go with me. Although I will go even if no one does. Because I'm cool like that.

I digress. Until Friday!

Quick note

I just thought I ought to say that I am now home, and have been for several hours, and am very happy about it, despite what you may have read below.

Anyways. I'm tired. Good night.

A Tribute to Roommates

Hello! I just finished my last paper of the semester (more like an hour ago), and I really should be studying for the exam I have at 10:30 tomorrow, but I missed my blog!

It has come to my attention that of the eight (now nine) posts in May, the majority are full of sentimental, sad content. Well...get ready for some more, and before I hear any complaining, Internet, let me remind you that I am an 18-year-old female at the end of her first year of college. It is my JOB to be sentimental. So there.

My walls are now bare, except for two posters and a picture frame. Even the curtains are down. It's very sad. Lana and I participated in the midnight scream again tonight, and then she said something about how it was both a beautiful and a painful moment because she knew she would be thinking back on it and wishing for it again. See, tonight is her last night. It's our last night as roommates! This is indeed sad, because let me tell you, we have absolutely nothing in common, and yet we have managed to make our relationship work. She's so great and I love her dearly. Another sad thing is that, due to conflicting schedules, we won't really see each other until our junior year!! How crazy is that?? We've got into a habit with each other, and now we have to do it all over again with different people! Blah. Not cool.

Sad Day

*sniff* All my books are packed!

Static

So I'm in the student union working on my paper and I've hit writer's block. Got any inspiration for me, Internet?

I had my Bible exam today, and it seriously took me less than 15 minutes. One down, four to go!

I guess I could talk about the play I saw last night. That's good and pondering.

It was called "Between Two Chairs." It was written and performed by Valerie Smith, a theatre professor I had last semester. She has a young son, Jude, and an elderly father living with Alzheimer's. The play is about obssession with memory gained (Jude) and memory lost (her father). It was very well done, and I liked it, but it's the kind of thing I can't give my opinion on until I get my head wrapped around it. I thought it would be sad, but it was more intriguing than anything else. Val talked about the inverse relationship between the destruction of the mind that her father is experiencing and the expansion of the mind that her son is experiencing. There is an actual connection between the two, and for the past couple of years, she's been obsessed with it.

The play began with a recording of Valerie interviewing her father, asking a series of questions leading up to a heartbreaking one: Do you have any children? He answered no. She also interviewed Jude, and that recording prompted a lot of laughs, listening to the gurgling of a three or four year old. Interestingly, there were similarities in Jude's and Mr. Flower's answers. Neither of them knew the date, the year or the season. Both of them wanted to know what town they were in. The tone, however of the interview, was incredibly different. Jude was curious, and if he didn't know, he knew his mom would tell him. It was the promise of a life beginning. Val's father had an ongoing tone of helplessness, as if he were more and more disappointed with each question he couldn't answer. It was the dreaded anticipation of a life ending.

Valerie has done a huge amount of research before writing this play, so I can't expect myself to understand everything that she does. There is a connection that she only briefly mentioned that I would like to research myself. It's the connection between ritual and memory. I wrote my final paper in her class on ritual, and it is absolutely fascinating to me. It's still so vague, though. I really have no idea where to go with it.

Ok, I'm glad I wrote that down. Now, back to my paper.

Sentimental Drivel

I promised I would post today, didn't I? It is now 11:43, so I thought I should go ahead and do it.

Today was a good day. I slept late, but not too late, and then Lauren, Suzanne, Charity, Lana and I all went to Panera for lunch. It was a nice day for memories. Good conversation, good food, and good people. Sorry, I guess I'm just feeling sappy because Lauren's moving out on Saturday, and I won't see her until January.

This has been a good year. I am most definitely not the person I was when I arrived, and I think it's for the better. Wow, I'm just thinking about the great friends I have. I won't see Lana or Suzanne for a whole year! I'll be in Philadelphia in the fall, Suzanne will be in Germany in the spring, and Lana will be in Thailand in the spring.

It is not good that I am depressing myself. I still have to write a chunk of my Women and Gender paper tonight. Plus my Bible final is tomorrow. Cheer up, Coon!

I recognize that my writing is very stream-of-consciousness, and I'm probably not explaining how I feel about my friends and the end of the year properly. I guess I just feel pulled between two homes. I live with my friends, so of course I love them, and I don't want to say goodbye to them. I love my family and I miss them, and I definitely do not want to stay on campus a minute longer than I have to! I am ready to go home, but it also means the end of my life here.

I've spent 9 months away from my parents and away from everything that formed into the person that I am. And now I'm going back to my old life. We've talked a lot about our fears of being pressured to fit into the mold that we left in the fall. We've all changed, some more drastically than others, but we know that a lot of people at home won't be expecting that. I'm not worried about my parents. Just from recent conversations with my mom, I can tell that things will be easier with her than they have been. Not that it's all depending on how she reacts. I've changed for the better I think, and I can express myself better, so I don't think we'll get into quite as many arguments.

Ok, Internet, I'm going to tell you something. Don't laugh. I've had this question bouncing around in my head for a long time, and I need to ask someone, even if that someone is non-responsive. Here it is.

When can I call myself a woman?

Seriously! I'm still a teenager, but I am definitely growing up, and I feel like I'm closer to my adult self than my adolescent (that word doesn't really describe what I mean, but oh well) self. When does that transition take place? I think I will be freaked out the first time one of my parents says that. My RA referred to the floor as a 'group of women' the other day. It's not as weird when she says it, but it still gave me pause.

(Note: If you haven't turned on sappy, sentimental music by now, shame on you.)

I'm so ready for life to start for me, and I can feel it slowly gaining momentum. I just feel like how I make the transition from college to home is key for some reason.

Hah, ok, I just ran off for an hour and laughed myself silly with Lauren and Lana. There's this tradition at Messiah during finals week. It is 24 hour quiet hours, which means no normal college craziness. Except at midnight we all open our windows and scream. Tonight someone played Taps on their trumpet. Lana and I yelled, but Lauren didn't so we were ragging on her for being a loser. And we were just generally stupid for an hour. Broke quiet hours several times.

This has been a very good day. And now I must go do work.

Good night!

Wasting Time

Here I am in the computer lab in Boyer, doing what I do best. My Created and Called class was a review, so I have some extra time, and I thought I would post a blog!

Writing my FJN last night was good. Lots of people complain about how useless it was, and I agree with them to an extent. I think a lot of the class was really a waste of time. I did learn how to articulate exactly what I believe, though, and that is really valuable. All the introspective stuff was good as well. Anyways, I enjoyed writing it, and I really hope my professor enjoys reading it. If I didn't like writing a paper, I don't really care what reaction I get, but when a paper is this personal, and I really enjoy it, I get this feeling in the pit of my stomach until I know what my grade is. It's like he's evaluating me along with the paper.

Moving on, I've still got another paper to finish (start) and a couple other assignments. By Wednesday I will be done with classes, and hopefully well on my way to being done with finals.

Until then!

Lazy Sundays

Well, I promised that I would write about church and finals. Sadly, all I have to write about church is that I did not go this morning. I've been to two churches consistently this year, and both of them have fundamental aspects that I am not happy with. One I feel is just a place for a social gathering. The second one is too denominationally exclusive. The sermons are filled with stuff that I see no point in talking about. Everyone there already agrees with it, so it's like we're congratulating ourselves for being correct. That is absolutely not the purpose of a church.

I know I sound incredibly picky and critical, but the people who are guiding me in my relationship with Christ can't be too carefully chosen, right? I really wish I could just (dork moment) apparate home every Sunday to my home, the place where I'm comfortable. Then again, I know that if I always stay in my comfort zone, I'll never grow.

Anyways, the long and short of the story is, I woke up somewhat late this morning, and I just couldn't bring myself to rush to get ready for a church service that I knew would leave me unfulfilled. So I didn't go.

Moving on, I was productive yesterday, and apparently that sent a subconscious signal to my brain that I didn't need to get anything done today. Which is not true. I've got my Faith Journey Narrative for Created and Called, which is actually somewhat fun to write, but once my mind gets out of the mood to write, it's hard to start again. I also need to write an analysis paper for Women and Gender, and work on a Jonah Bible study for my Bible class.

Finals will be tough, I think. I've got a ten page paper for Women and Gender, which, again, won't be so hard once I get started writing. I've also got a Religion and Science paper due next Monday and my World Civ final.

Wow, sorry, Internet. I didn't mean for you to become my homework planner. Haha, the term 'homework planner' brings to mind Hermione and "Do it today or tomorrow you'll pay!" I love Hermione. I pride myself a little on the resemblance between her and I. (Is it 'her and I' coincidentally? Or 'her and me'?)

Anyways, I need to get cracking on my FJN (it takes too long to type it all out), so I will see youuuuu....tomorrow? I'll tell you how my FJN went.

Until then!

Edit: Jackie assures me that it is indeed 'her and me,' so let above text stand corrected. :)

Doldrums

Hello Internet,

I promised you a post on Saturday, so here it is.

I went to Barnes & Noble today with my friend Charity, just to get off campus a bit and get some studying done. I read my last article for Women and Gender, and I started the final paper for the Created and Called class that Messiah makes every first year student take. Things are drawing to a close, I guess.

My roommate is doing service work tonight, so I have the room to myself. I thought I might watch a movie and start packing. I've got to move out myself as my dad's still in the Middle East, and my mom can't get off work to help. It'll be fine; I just have to be ready.

Sorry I'm not very interesting this post. I've got a headache and it's dreary out. It's just that sort of 'blah' day, you know? I'm worried about money too, I suppose. Not that I'm destitute or anything. Right now I don't have a job for the summer, so as soon as I get home, I have to go looking.

Wow, depressing post! Here's something that makes me giggle every time.

Now it's time for me to dig stuff out from under my bed and sort out what clothes to keep. I think My Fair Lady is a good cheerful, snobbish musical to watch tonight (I say snobbish in a very affectionate way).

Thanks for listening to my woes, Internet! I'll post tomorrow and talk about church and finals.

Until then!

Hallelujah!

Again, just time for a quick one.

I left my flash drive in the library on Wednesday, and then when I asked at the Lost and Found, it wasn't there. That usually means that whoever found it kept it, so I was bummed, to say the least. But I asked again today, and they had it!! Yay!! I was so relieved!!

Hello!

I just have time for a quick post before my 2 o'clock class. I slept in this morning (shame on me, I know), so then I had to rush to finish an assignment. These library keyboards tend to stick, so forgive me if something is misspelled and I don't correct it.

I had the pre-orientation meeting for Philadelphia last night, and I am even more excited about it than I was before. We will be living in five refurbished 19th century townhouses on Broad Street. The hallways are narrow and every room is unique. I have wanted to live in a row house like this ever since reading about Digory and Polly exploring in the attic of his row house in The Magician's Nephew. I am so excited! I spoke to my mom after the meeting, and we were both wondering if I would like living there better than the main campus. I think I will. I can spend as many semesters there as I want, except the history courses are very limited there, so at the most, I could spend two semesters. Next fall, and maybe next spring. We'll see. It's entirely possible that I will hate the anonymity, but I seriously doubt it. Even if I can't spend more than one semester there, I definitely want to pursue a career in the city, so I will get there eventually.

I have class tonight, and then lots of homework preparing for the weekend, so I will try and post again on Saturday. I have lots to do preparing for finals week.

Until then!